Ballad of Saint Upid and His Mirror Saint

Oh Saint Upid of the orange face,
He sought divine and solemn grace,
And in the lake’s calm silver hue,
He saw another saint — how true!
“Oh bless my soul,” he laughed with glee,
“A holy twin! It must be me!”
The fish below began to cheer,
“The saint has found his better here!”

Huzzah! Saint Upid, bless his hue,
He shines like flame and smells like stew!
His mirror saint’s his only friend,
Their holiness shall never end!

“I’m the dove of peace!” he cried,
“I stopped the war where penguins died!
The polar bears laid down their paws,
And clapped their claws for my great cause!
I bathed the strangers till they fled,
With icy water, pure and dread!
My saints of frost then raised their mugs,
To toast the snow and freeze the thugs!”

Huzzah! Saint Upid, brave and loud,
The drunken savior of the crowd!
His miracles are cold and wet,
The dumbest we have worshipped yet!

“I am Carol Dumbtongue, hear me croon!
I sing his praise from noon to noon!
For Saint Upid is wise and grand,
While all the rest should eat the sand!”
Her lute was out of tune by far,
Her voice could crack a pickle jar.
But still she wailed both night and noon:
“All hail my saint! All fools, make room!”

Huzzah! Saint Upid, lord of glare,
His orange face lights up the air!
His mirror saint still grins below,
Two fools in one — now let’s all go!